Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
