Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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