your thong is hanging out like whoa
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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