Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
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Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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