I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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