Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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