Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Randomize
