Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
How many fucks given?
0.12846
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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