first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Pooping to opera.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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