final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
