every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
