I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Can I color on your dick again?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
