no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Panties = found
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