If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
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I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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