Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
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