New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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