I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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