we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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