Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
