did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
