I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize