just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
