My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
