Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.

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(407): View more from Florida

Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.

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(541): View more from Oregon

Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.

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(248): View more from Michigan

Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."

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(585): View more from New York

He called me kiddo. We can't have sex

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?

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