The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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