If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
