if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
