he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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