I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Randomize
