yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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