Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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