Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
