yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
