Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
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