i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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