I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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