New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
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