you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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