Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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