I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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