Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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