I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Randomize
