Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
