In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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