Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Randomize
