I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
