I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
