And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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