I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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