Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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