You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
