Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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