I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
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