We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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