wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Randomize
