i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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