if i can run in heels then i can drive
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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