I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
