my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I'm both gender and math confused
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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