You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
