Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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