dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
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Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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