found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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