Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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