Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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