I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
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Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
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In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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