The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
We got so high we made milksteak
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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