Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
